When someone you love is drinking more than usual, it’s easy to assume the problem is simply the alcohol. For many people, however, drinking is less about wanting to party or unwind and more about trying to cope with something painful underneath.
This is what’s known as self-medicating — using alcohol to numb or manage symptoms of a deeper struggle like depression, anxiety, or trauma.
Recognizing this connection is important because treating alcohol use on its own often leaves the underlying issue unaddressed. If the emotional pain is still there, the pull toward alcohol remains strong.
By understanding why self-medication happens and how to recognize the signs, you’ll be in a better position to support your loved one in getting the help they truly need.
Why Do People Self-Medicate?
When someone drinks to self-medicate, the alcohol isn’t really the root problem. It’s often a way of coping with painful emotions or symptoms of an underlying mental health condition.
By looking at the different reasons people turn to alcohol for relief, it becomes easier to understand what’s really happening beneath the surface.
- Alcohol offers temporary relief: It can numb feelings, ease anxiety or depression, and provide a brief escape from inner turmoil.
- The crash that follows feels worse: Once the effects wear off, sadness, emptiness, or anxiety often return more strongly.
- Alcohol masks deeper struggles: Drinking may cover up untreated depression, unresolved trauma, or anxiety without addressing the cause.
- It becomes a habit when there are no alternatives: Without healthy coping tools or mental health support, alcohol can feel like the only option.
Signs Your Loved One is Self-Medicating With Alcohol
When someone is self-medicating, the drinking itself is often only part of the picture. The more telling signs show up in how alcohol use connects with their emotions, behaviors, and daily life.
Drinking to Cope With Emotions
Your loved one might pour a drink after a stressful day, saying it helps them relax or “take the edge off.” What looks like a simple way to unwind is often a way of muting emotions that feel overwhelming, like sadness, anxiety, or constant stress. Relying on alcohol in this way suggests it’s being used as a coping tool rather than for casual enjoyment.
Changes in Mood or Behavior
You may notice irritability after drinking or see them withdraw from conversations they would normally enjoy. These mood shifts aren’t random — they often reflect the tension between the temporary relief alcohol provides and the emotional pain it leaves unresolved.
Increased Tolerance and Dependence
What started as one glass of wine in the evening slowly turns into two or three. Over time, the body adapts, and it takes more alcohol to bring the same sense of calm or escape. This growing tolerance shows how closely alcohol use has become tied to coping, making it harder to step away.
Avoidance of Underlying Issues
Conversations about stress, grief, or past trauma may be brushed off, but alcohol is always close by. In these cases, drinking acts as a replacement for dealing with painful emotions head-on, numbing symptoms without addressing the cause. This avoidance keeps the underlying struggles hidden and unresolved.
Decline in Daily Functioning
Missed deadlines, ongoing arguments at home, or neglect of daily routines can start to pile up. These difficulties are not only a result of alcohol itself but also of the mental health challenges fueling its use. Together, they reveal how drinking to cope deepens both the emotional pain and the practical fallout.
Isolation From Others
Instead of joining friends or family, your loved one might stay home to drink. This withdrawal is often less about losing interest and more about hiding emotional pain or avoiding judgment.
Over time, choosing alcohol over connection reinforces loneliness, which can worsen mental health symptoms and, in some cases, lead to thoughts of suicide. This makes reaching out for support and treatment even more important.
How to Stop Self-Medicating With Alcohol
Stopping the cycle of self-medicating isn’t easy, but it is possible. The first step is recognizing that the alcohol is not the real solution, but a way of temporarily covering up emotional pain or symptoms of a mental health condition. Healing requires learning healthier ways to cope while also addressing the struggles that made alcohol feel necessary in the first place.
For the Person Struggling
Finding new coping strategies and support can make it easier to step away from alcohol. A few steps include:
- Reach out for professional help to explore dual diagnosis treatment.
- Practice healthier coping skills such as journaling, exercise, or mindfulness.
- Build a daily routine that supports mental health and reduces stress.
- Begin therapy to address the underlying depression, anxiety, or trauma fueling the drinking.
It takes time to replace alcohol with healthier tools, but every small shift can help create a stronger foundation for recovery.
For Loved Ones Offering Support
If someone you care about is self-medicating, your support can make a big difference. Helpful ways to show up include:
- Approach conversations with compassion instead of judgment.
- Ask about how they’re feeling, not only about their drinking.
- Encourage treatment that addresses both alcohol use and mental health together.
- Offer to help with practical steps, such as researching programs or attending appointments.
- Set gentle but clear boundaries to protect your own well-being while supporting theirs.
The most powerful thing you can do is remind your loved one they are not alone and that real help is available. Recovery is not about willpower; it’s about getting the right kind of care and support to heal both the mind and body.
Stop the Cycle and Start Healing
If you or someone you love is using alcohol to cope with depression, anxiety, trauma, or another mental health struggle, help is available. At Pasadena Villa, we specialize in co-occurring disorder treatment that addresses both alcohol use and the underlying mental health condition.
Our programs combine evidence-based therapies, medication support when needed, and compassionate care from clinicians who understand the challenges of self-medicating. With the right support, recovery is possible. Contact us today to learn how we can help you or your loved one start healing.